11 May, 2014

GROWING UP

Have you ever met the kind of person who hates growing up?

I should know, I've only been hating it for, oh, two years...

But all of a sudden, it's stopped. I'm not sure how, but I look forward to growing up and I realized that the growing up I hated was the kind that was filled with acne, hormones raging against parents, armpit shaving (which I still don't do), higher expectations at school, emotional struggles with the self...

And so on, and so forth.

I still do hate adolescence. It is a period of mental torture. It's ugly. It's painful - both mentally and physically. It's a train wreck. But points-of-view have shifted, and now I look forward to going through the rest of these teenage years, if only to reach my twenties (as opposed to before, when I didn't want to go through my teenage years).

Growing up to me means independence. It means moving away from adolescence. It means doing what you want responsibly - coloring your hair without your mother screaming at you, enjoying the buzz from all the beer without the law chasing after you, buying...vinyl records?...without your father telling you it's a waste of money.

(Growing up also means freedom to mosh at shows.)

Repeat: doing what you want responsibly.

And so I can't wait to grow up. I can't wait to leave school and its horrendous pinstriped uniform behind. I can't wait to learn more about the world by actually being exposed to it and being allowed to have your own opinion about it (because let's face it, our "opinion" takes shape only because somebody we trust has the same opinion). I can't wait to be responsible for my actions, my decisions and my property. Basically, when you grow up and move out, the bias on your view of the world tends to seep out. Not that I want to move out - I love my family, no matter how many quarrels we've had. They're a supportive bunch; they love me, they appreciate my passion for music, they appreciate the fact that I'm writing a novel. At the same time, I can't help but wonder how the world will taste on my tongue when I'm on my own.

Bittersweet?

Most probably.

Here's to growing up. Denmark, here I come! Skål! [Clink of beer bottles.] Oh, and happy Mothers' Day to all the amazing moms out there. :)

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